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Real Life Stories

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I was born and brought up in Preston. I had a loving home and decent upbringing. When i was around 11 years old my parents divorced. As a child i didn’t understand the breakup of my family, and became rebellious in school, i faced bullying issues and found comfort being around people who were older than me. By 13 i was in my first sexual relationship, and by 14 i was with a second partner. I had begun to smoke weed on a daily basis. I liked fitting in, before i was 16 i had dabbled with taking vallium, methadone, LSD, drinking and had become a full heroin addict. My family had found out by this stage and were heartbroken. I lied about how severe my problems were. My GCSE’s suffered as a result, i spent my time either being doped up on morphine or detoxing from morphine and in pain. By 17 my family couldn’t deal with my behaviour and i was kicked out of home. I left with my boyfriend and things spiralled more out of control. We were homeless and were shoplifting to make money for heroin. Being arrested and sleeping wherever we could were part and parcel of our everyday lives. Before i was 20 i had been in rehab 4 times, sometimes walking out after a couple of days as the pain was so great.

At 21 my family took me across the world on a holiday, thinking it would take me away from my lifestyle and do me some good, i was still on a methadone prescription and dabbled on holiday with speed, i slept around, even though i had a partner in the UK. From the day i returned home i was using heroin and crack cocaine, 4 months later i found out i was pregnant. My drug habits were too big to stop and too dangerous for my baby, detox was too dangerous. When my child was born i had an emergency section and we were both lucky to be alive. For the next 5 weeks i watched my baby detox and have fits. Heartbroken doesn’t even describe the guilt i felt. The
 shame was so heavy that only more Heroin would numb my pain. I couldn’t deal with the grief of what i had
 done. I finally left hospital and to the outside world i functioned as a mother. My child was well and my family 
assumed i had recovered and was managing. The reality was the drug use behind closed doors was chaotic,
and my whole life and the mask i wore was a lie. The heroin use continued on top of my methadone 
prescription and any other painkillers that were available. Before i was 25 i had a miscarriage and almost
 died. At 26 i had my second child, when i brought him home from hospital i thought he
 was ok and had managed to escape the affects of my drug use.

I was relieved, At 5 months old my baby was
 diagnosed with a rare condition which resulted in severe brain abnormalities, blindness, autism, behavioural
 issues and learning difficulties. As i sat with my baby in my arms and tears rolling down my face, i remember 
asking the doctors if his medical issues were a result of my drug use. I was told that they couldn’t say for 
definite but there faces said it all. Anti-depressants didn’t help, heroin didn’t help, i was dead inside and was just about functioning. I was under
weight and my  days were spent either detoxing in pain or taking drugs to feel normal.

Then one night as
i fell asleep i had a dream that has changed my whole life, I was cowering against a door and could hear the
 most petrifying noises. Dogs were howling and i knew that whatever it was, was coming for me. I heard my
 name being called by the most seductive sickening voice ever, i hadn’t ever felt fear like that 
before. As i peered around the door i saw a demon looking at me. I was screaming so loud for Jesus to help 
me. I have not had a Christian upbringing and had only ever stepped in a church for a wedding or funeral. As i 
began shouting for Jesus to help help me the horrific noises and things i saw stopped and i heard the loudest 
voice ever say to me “Yvonne! This is your last chance!” Then i woke up. The morning after i remembered 
everything so vividly and i knew that i had heard Satan and had heard God say that it was my last chance. As i sat
 smoking heroin i felt a huge conviction, i knew God could see me and had seen everything i had ever done.
 That night i fell to my knees on my bedroom floor and sobbed for hours, i confessed my whole life that night
 and begged God to forgive me, i actually looked up how to apologise to God on Google as i had no knowledge 
of how to do this. I must have read numerous salvation prayers.

I couldn’t use Heroin again but was still on a large methadone prescription, i started attending my local church, i was given my first ever bible by an elder, the first night i started reading it and enjoyed learning about God. The morning after i woke up and was pinned to my bed i couldn’t move and wondered what was happening, now i realise it was a demonic attack. I reduced my methadone and starded a home detox, for almost 6 weeks i was in pain i couldn’t sleep and could barely move some days. I had two more significant dreams during this time one where i was crouched at Jesus feet in white saying sorry over and over and i was asking him how long the pain would last. He assured me not long and i saw him lifting dark figures from me as i crouched on the floor. The second one was me walking down a corridor with doors on either side with demons locked behind the doors they were trying to get to me but chains were keeping the doors closed and Jesus was standing at the end of the corridor with his arms open, his face was just pure light, he was holding the ends of the chains. He said to me “Dont look, keep your eyes on me and you will be okay”. As i approached Jesus i woke up. I’ve had lots of dreams of being attacked, threatened and choked. But i remind myself that Jesus is bigger and greater than all the demons of hell put together!

Over the next few months for the first time in over 20 years i was Heroin free, methadone free. I gave up 
smoking weed and cigarettes. I ended my 18 year relationship that had been drug fuelled, and began talking to
God. What i couldn’t do, my parents couldn’t do, drug services couldn’t do, my children couldn’t, do Jesus Christ 
did in one night! Over the next 9 months i still felt the depression within me, i didn’t know who i was without 
all the morphine. I saw amazing works of God on TV which lifted my faith and started praying for God to put 
me in a church where people raised hands and prayed in tongues  and for Christian friends. I never saw
 anyone outside of the church i was attending. Within a short space of time i received a leaflet through my door 
for Potters House Church in Preston, i realised it was around 5 miles away from my home so just disregarded it. A few
 weeks later I was in Preston town centre and was given the same leaflet for the same church. So
this time i took it as an answered prayer, i went home and rang the pastor. In that one phone call i revealed 
most of my life, i was comforted and told that i wasn’t going mad and that he believed me and my experience. I 
felt relieved and visited The Potters House the next day for service. I’d never seen a prayer room or so many
 friendly people in my life, it was also comforting to hear that other people had been through some similar
 experiences as me. Over the next couple of months i told my testimony in church was baptised was water and filled with
 the holy spirit, ill never forget driving home after service and speaking in tongues at the top of my voice! 

 offers forgiveness no matter what you have done, from the smallest to the greatest of sin. We have all 
fallen short and have all sinned against him, but if we just confess our sins, repent and ask God to forgive us 
and ask him to come into our lives then he will. I would never of had the strength to do what i have done, but Jesus has 
the strength to overcome all your issues. I will be eternally grateful to Jesus for showing me the mercy i did not 
deserve and now i just want to give my whole heart and life to him. 

Jesus can do the same for you. Why not get in touch we can help you find the freedom & deliverance you need in JESUS NAME.